


Gratitude

by mimirexx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Children, F/M, Friendship, Killing, Post-Apocalypse, Pregnant Hange, Reunion, Zombie Apocalypse, hangeauweek, hangeauweek2019, post Mobuhan, some Erehan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 16:36:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19398094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimirexx/pseuds/mimirexx
Summary: Hanji was separated from her group a long while ago, had to watch them being snatched away from her in front of her eyes. After finding out about her pregnancy and living pretty much all of it on the streets, she finally met some new people which seemed to be alright. It was the start of her new life.





	Gratitude

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short thing I wrote by the way since I found out it was Hange week and I had to appreciate my queen!
> 
> It’s not as long and detailed as I would’ve wished since I’m working on another thing atm but I’ll maybe add another chapter one day, let’s see how this turns out first!
> 
> Comments and feedback are always appreciated!

Living in the middle of the apocalypse is already bad as it is. So how much worse could it get? As if losing literally everyone close to herself wasn’t already enough, Hanji, unfortunately, hurt her left eye in the process and on top of that noticed a few months later that she got pregnant by her former boyfriend, Moblit. A nice guy, a good person, always kind and respectful. Definitely what lead him to death, though.

Now, she was unable to see anything on her left eye and was somewhere in her last months of pregnancy. She lost track of the time and wasn’t sure how far she was but judging from her big, swollen belly, she knew it soon would be time to give birth. Ever since she knew she was pregnant, she already was looking around for things for the baby like clothes, pacifiers, bottles, fabric diapers which were usable several times, since these were more efficient, and whatever else she found on her way. She was alone and hadn’t met any people for literal months, so she had to take care of herself and the unborn baby on her own.

  
To her dismay, it was winter. Snow covered the ground, roofs, lakes and literally everything else that was visible. It was so cold, especially at night, which made hiding and staying warm during the day and night difficult. She had to move from house to house, ate whatever she found, which wasn’t enough in any way. For someone being this close to giving birth, Hanji was incredibly thin. It luckily wasn’t to the point where it was life-threatening for her unborn child, she believed, but it wasn’t healthy either.

  
The only thing Hanji was actually worrying about was the process of giving birth itself. Many women died by giving birth, many babies died after giving birth because of things not working optimally; it was natural and also happened before the world practically went down. And since she was alone, she had nobody else who’d take care of her baby in case it ended with her death. She was genuinely worried about that.

  
The brunette was a tough woman. She was strong and independent and smart. Up until now, there was not a single moment where she didn’t figure out a way to get through or deal with the undead beneath the living- or rather the living beneath the undead, actually. The long sword she was carrying with her definitely was a big help while fighting these creatures and keeping them at distance. Though, Hanji found another way to avoid getting attacked by these things.

  
Before she got pregnant, the brunette used to study the living dead, used every minute of her time to get to know them. The more they knew about them, the easier it’d be to find a way to get rid of every single one of them. This far, she hasn’t made much of a progress in finding a way to heal them. But, Hanji learned that once she cut out their jaws and arms and took their ability to do what they’re supposed to- infecting- they’d lose interest in it and would not attack any human being near them. That was pretty much how she got through it this winter: with two dead people chained and prepared for her own safety. Lovingly named Sawney and Bean; the only company she had left.

  
One unfortunate day, a whole herd crossed her way. She was doing well for a while with Sawney and Bean by her side but with how big the herd was, Hanji was pushed around and ended up slipping on the frozen ground and hitting the floor. A small groan came for her and that already was enough for the first deads to turn around and approach her. They noticed that she wasn’t one of them and now she was in a lot of trouble.

  
“Fuck.” She cursed and forced herself to stand up again, which was hard considering her big belly in the way and the icy ground under her feet. “Ugh..” She groaned again and quickly pushed back one of the zombies that came a bit too close to her, then reached back to draw her sword. “I’m sorry, guys. But I have to.”

  
The first one fell to the ground rather quickly, just like the second one. But the brunette got exhausted easier and panted as she took slow steps back. At this point, the whole herd noticed her and now she had to deal with a dozen of dead zombies. A tree hit her back and took her only way of escaping.

  
Hanji was panting hard and stabbed another one through his head, though, had struggles to pull her sword out again. So, the zombie sank to the ground and took the sword with him, leaving Hanji with only her bare hands to fight. “Shit. Shitshitshit!” She hissed, folding her arms over her stomach protectively. If there was one place she didn’t want them to touch, it definitely was her stomach.

  
The living dead growled and groaned loudly, approaching the pregnant woman, getting closer and closer and closer. Just when one of them was close enough to grab Hanji’s arm and bite her, a shoot could be heard. The brunette flinched and shut her eyes momentarily before peeking through the herd in hopes to see who it was.

  
Two more zombies in front of her fell, revealing three people behind them: a girl and two boys. “Hey!! We’re here!” The blond boy called out, probably to draw attention- which worked great since the zombies began turning around and approaching the three instead. Hanji used that to reach down and forcefully pull her sword out of the zombies head. Holding it tightly, she began stabbing the zombies from behind while the others took care of them from the front.

  
It took them a few minutes but eventually, every zombie fell to the ground and there finally was a little silence. The only thing that could be heard was everyone’s heavy breathing, their breath coming out in white puffs in front of their faces. Hanji eyed the three closely, her sword still up in suspicion that the strangers might not be as nice as they might seem.

  
The girl had a very stoic and stern expression, she appeared very calm but still had that something that gave her this anger in her eyes. Not to mention that she took care of most of the zombies, so Hanji figured she might be the biggest threat of them. That girl remembered her a lot of an old friend.

  
The blond boy next to her looked rather weak; small. He had a cute face and big, blue eyes. From how he looked like, it almost was as if all the innocence that was left in the world lived in his frail being. She believed the weak didn’t survive very long and was curious about how that boy still was standing and fighting. His gun was lowered slightly- the gun which killed the first zombie.

  
On the other hand, the brunet boy looked like he’d lose it any moment. His emerald eyes gleamed with rage while his hands kept his knife up, pointed at Hanji. He was probably the most unpredictable one of these three. The three couldn’t be older than her in any way- they looked like teenagers, judging from their faces and built.

  
“Did they bite or scratch you anywhere?” The ravenette growled as her eyes traveled up and down Hanji’s body. Shaking her head in response, Hanji slowly rose her hands in surrender. “No. I’m not infected.” She explained shortly, rolled up her sleeves and turned around slowly to prove her point, watching as the ravenette gave a short, firm nod.

  
“What are you doing here all by yourself? Where are your people?” The short, blond boy asked next which made Hanji sigh, her eyes locked with his as she spoke, slow and clear so they’d understand, “I lost them in an attack months ago. I’ve been alone ever since.”

  
The brunet spoke up next, “And you got yourself pregnant in a time like this?” Hanji furrowed her brows at that and clenched her teeth, one hand reaching down to touch her stomach by instinct. “It wasn’t planned. And it was too late when I found out.” If she could, she would’ve aborted the child since children simply didn’t belong in a world like this and Hanji didn’t exactly have time to take care of one either. When she found out, it already was too late and Hanji decided she would rather give life than take one. There were too many people dying already.

  
“I see.” The brunet said shortly, lowering his knife, “Leave and we won’t have to kill you-”  
“-What?!” The blond one interrupted before Hanji even had a chance to react. “We can’t just leave her alone like that, Eren! She’s pregnant!”

  
“So what?” The girl demanded, “There’s only so many lives that I can care about. My enemies made deciding that easy six years ago.”

  
“Mikasa is right.” The boy, who turned out to be named Eren, spoke and put his knife into its pocket. “She should be lucky we’re letting her go. She’s been fine this far,” His gaze fell at her zombies, Sawney and Bean, who stood somewhere near a tree and just looked around aimlessly. “And I’m sure she’ll be fine now too. We can’t afford any more trouble, you know that.” He added firmly.

  
The blond stepped closer to Eren and began shaking his head, “We can’t leave her back, we have to help her! Humans are already in danger as it is, we need to help each other to survive in a world like this. I know we can’t trust anyone but the least we can do is try to help so less people have to die!”

  
Something about that boy was special- he had that way to talk so determined and steadfast, almost stubborn, to convince his friends of what he was saying. Hanji liked that about him, even though it also was very stupid to take someone with them only because she was pregnant. It was a big risk. A big risk Hanji was glad they were considering to take.

  
As the three kept arguing on and on, Hanji leaned against a nearby tree, feeling very exhausted from the attack just a few minutes ago. Since she got pregnant, she noticed how much weaker she got and how she couldn’t hold herself up on her feet for that long. That was what she hated the most. Luckily, she had Sawney and Bean by her side and her pregnancy would soon be over, she could manage.

  
“Fine.” Eren spat and poked the blond’s chest a few times. “But you’re taking responsibility for her if she fucks up.” Giving Hanji a glare, the brunet turned away and began walking off as the shorter blond hurried over to Hanji and wrapped her arm around his shoulders to help her walking.

  
“C’mon, we’re going back home. You should rest.” He said comfortingly with a kind smile on his lips and lead Hanji over to walk behind Eren, Mikasa being the last in the row.

  
“Wait.” Hanji stopped and looked over at Sawney and Bean who still stood at the tree. “They’re coming with me.” The ravenette didn’t look very pleased to hear this and walked over to stand behind the two zombies. “No-!” Hanji shouted but it was too late and she had to watch Mikasa stabbing both of them through their head, making them sink to the ground.

  
“How dare you?! Why did you kill them?! They were my friends!”

  
“Friends?” The ravenette sighed annoyedly, “These are monsters. They’re killing people.”

  
Hanji was shaking with rage and just about screamed, “Sawney and Bean didn’t kill anyone! They were good! They were my friends and you just killed them for no reason!” Hanji was so mad at Mikasa. Sawney and Bean were calm, they never leashed out or tried to attack her, never did anything wrong. These two were the only friends she had left and now she had to watch them dying just like everyone else she ever knew.

  
It was quiet for some while as Hanji tried her best to keep her tears inside and not lose it completely. If she kept screaming now, they’d get into a shit ton of trouble. Even in a situation like that, she knew better than to get them all in danger- even if it was hard. She wanted to kill Mikasa in exchange for her killing her friends but Armin kept holding onto her arm tightly, not letting Hanji go anywhere. “C’mon, calm down. We have children at home, I’m sure they’d be scared of them. And Mikasa only killed them to save them from their grief. Am I right, Mikasa?”

  
Mikasa stared at the two like they were both insane. Eventually, she gave in and gave a short nod which made the blond boy smile a little. “See? She didn’t mean any harm. They’re in a better place now, where they belong. This world is cruel, they’ll get their peace now.” He explained and lightly rubbed Hanji’s back, “And we should go now before it gets dark. Think about your child.”

  
Hanji was staring down at the ground for a while, stared at the two corpses which used to keep her company when things were hard, her friends. Her two only friends she would never see again, just like she would never see any of her old friends anymore. Everyone was dead and Hanji just felt so lonely suddenly.

  
With a weak nod, the brunette forced herself to look away from the two and let the boy lead her away from the scene. For the rest of the way, it was dead silent. Nobody said a word. The boy next to her kept rubbing her back and Hanji found just a little comfort in this gesture. How long it had been since she last had people around her... she almost forgot how it felt like to hold or touch someone.

  
After walking for about half an hour or a little more, the four arrived at a big gate. There were a few people standing on top of the walls for surveillance and there could be heard many noises from the inside. One of these noises Hanji recognized immediately was the laughter of children. It filled her with a comfortable feeling, made her forget about the bad for a moment.

  
She hadn’t seen any children in ages, hadn’t heard any laugh, hadn’t seen any smile. Just imagining children running around and having fun, to see them being childish and so carefree and unaware of how ugly the world has become, made her chest swell comfortably, joyfully. Not only has she missed these things, but now her child also could have others in her age to spend time with once they got older. Her baby could grow up as a child and it made Hanji so unbelievably happy.

  
The gate opened and Hanji and the others walked inside. She looked around slightly and spotted a few kids running around. It made her smile with a small sparkle in her eyes, her hand coming up to rest on top of her stomach. These were sounds she longed for, sounds she could gladly get used to.

  
“It’s so beautiful here.” She commented absentmindedly and turned around to face the others again. Mikasa was staring at her cautiously and took the sword Hanji was holding while Eren lightly pushed her forward.

  
“Keep walking. We’re not the ones making the final decision whether you can stay or not. You need to talk to Captain first.” Hanji didn’t like how Eren was pushing her but decided to let it slide this one time and walked where Eren pointed her to go. The less she resisted, the easier it’d be. Just for now, until she knew whether she could stay or not, then she would make sure to show Eren how to push people around. “Who do I need to talk to? Who’s that ‘Captain’?” She asked curiously.

  
“He’s in charge of this place for a while now and he’s managing everything great. Everyone respects and trusts him, so he takes care of things like these.” The blond explained on their way, “When someone new comes, when food isn’t enough, when we’re in danger, when we have to fight or have to leave the walls for whatever reason, he’s in charge of all that and even more. Like a king- but don’t call him that, he doesn’t like that title.”

  
“He’s really tough and cold, so don’t hold your expectations too high. Being pregnant won’t get you bonus points, not with him.” Eren added in a firm tone and Hanji had to hold back a groan. He was annoying when he spoke like that- wannabe tough and dangerous.

  
Hanji nonetheless listened closely to everything they said and gave a small nod in response, “I see...” It wasn’t like she hadn’t dealt with difficult people before, Hanji knew how to act to achieve what she wanted if it came down to it. She just hoped it wouldn’t take too long since she really was tired and just wanted to get some rest finally.

  
A couple of minutes later, they stopped at the building which stood in the center of the small village these people were living in. It had two floors and actually looked pretty nice from the outside. It was just a simple house but that simplicity was what made it so beautiful, so unique. All the other houses she saw were ruins, broken, destroyed.

  
Eren walked over and knocked on the door. After a few second, a voice could be heard telling them to come in, so the brunet opened the door. While he held it open for everyone to walk in, Hanji sighed deeply and slowly entered the house, looking around. She spotted an open room and decided to go there since it seemed to be the right way, judging by how the others followed her.

  
“Sir. We found this woman outside in the woods today. Armin insisted on getting her here. She didn’t appear like a threat to us, she was alone and only had a sword with her, so we decided to get her here and see what you think of it.” The ravenette explained as the three stood at one side of the room, Hanji in the middle of it, in front of the desk this man was sitting at.

  
“She’s pregnant and was alone, so I didn’t see any issues with getting her here, Sir. We can always need more people, don’t we?” Armin said, glancing over at Hanji who gave him a small smile in appreciation of his care.

  
Eren folded his arms over his chest, sounding rather annoyed but also suspicious, “Also, she was walking around with two zo-”

  
“Now shut up for a moment, will ya?” The man spoke, turning around in his seat to look at the three teenagers. “Let me take a look at—” The raven’s gaze fell onto Hanji and both were just staring at each other with wide eyes.

  
Hanji finally saw that man’s face which made her heart beat so much faster. It couldn’t be true... She knew him! This was Levi! He was one of the people she used to be with before they got attacked months ago! Her big brown eyes filled with tears and she quickly rushed over to throw her arms around the raven and hug him. “Hanji..?!” He sounded in utter surprise, seemingly overwhelmed by the whole situation.

  
“Levi! It’s you! Oh my God, I thought you were dead! I thought I’d never see you again! I missed you so, so much!!” She babbled and sobbed the last part while she held the shorter male tightly. A few tears escaped her eyes, definitely tears of joy.

  
After some long moments, she pulled back enough to cup the male’s face tenderl and looked over his face. There several small scars on his body. She knew some of them but some also were new. It worried Hanji a little but seeing that he was standing and even leading such a big place just proved his strength all over again. “Are you alright? Is anyone else here too?”

  
The raven nodded at the first question, then shook his head at the second. “No, just you and me. I only got away because I fell down that cliff. I haven’t seen any of the others again... until now.” His gaze flicked down at her stomach for a few moments before moving up to her face again.

  
“Moblit.” Hanji stated simply which Levi nodded at. She reached out for his hand and placed it against her stomach, only then noticing that there were burn marks over the back of his hand and his fingers. It surprised her at first but it didn’t take long for her to place her own hand on top of his and smile at him.

  
Levi let his hand rest on the pregnant belly and gave her a small rub with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re alright, Shitty Glasses.” He said and slowly took his hand back, looking over at the three friends who were staring at the two dumbfounded.

  
“If you would’ve told me Levi was in charge of this place, I would’ve taken a bath before coming here!” Hanji joked and laughed, nudging Levi playfully who just rolled his eyes in return.

  
“Alright, listen, brats.” He spoke, “Hanji will live in the house next to this one, I’ll need her close. Jaeger, go and get food for her.” Eren looked hesitant at that but he reluctantly nodded and left with a “yes, Sir”.

  
The ravenette saw Eren leaving and quickly followed him outside. Hanji watched the girl and just shrugged at it, not really minding much why she’d follow him or not. Now that these two weren’t in the same room as them anymore, everything was less tense. Surprisingly enough.

  
Levi looked at Armin next, “Arlert. Hanji is smart. I want you to work together on your research and construction work.” The blond nodded at his new task and smiled softly, “Of course. I could always need some help.”

  
At this, Hanji nodded, then turned back to Levi and pulled him into another hug which the raven returned decently. “I really missed you a lot, Levi...” She murmured.

  
Hanji understood Levi wanted people to respect him and see him in a certain way- strong and cold, so she didn’t mind that he didn’t say anything in return. He always was like that. Never wanted anyone to know he actually was caring and had a big heart, though, only for the people who meant something to him. She knew and felt that he missed her too. The fact alone that he was hugging her was enough for her to be convinced of it.

* * *

  
“Madeleine! Madeleine, come here right this instant!” Levi shouted, his voice could be heard in the whole place. Even after so many years, he hasn’t changed one bit. He was still the grumpy, scary man he always was. Even physically, he was still the same; short, frowning, pissed. The only thing that changed were one big and several smaller scars over his face and his two missing fingers which all happened in the incident years ago.

  
The girl stopped upon hearing her name and turned over to look at Levi. She swallowed and slowly walked over, already knowing she was in trouble for the hundredth time. “Yes, uncle? Is there something you need?” She asked innocently, her lips curling up into a somewhat nervous smile.

  
“Stop this ‘uncle’-bullshit. The key to the basement of my house.” He demanded, holding his hand out while glaring at the teen, “I know you have it. Give it to me or I’ll have to kick your ass. Again.”

  
The girl looked utterly offended and shook her head heavily as she spoke, “Wh-what? I don’t have your key- I didn’t even know your house had a basement-!”

  
“Every house here has a basement, brat.” He interrupted quickly, frowning. “Give me the key and I won’t have to tell your mother about this.”

  
The brunette sighed and looked at the side for a while. A short silence surrounded them until Madeleine gave in and shoved the key into Levi’s hand. “Take it. That’s not fair, though.”

  
“The world isn’t a fair place.” He commented and put the key into his pocket. Just when he was about to turn around and walk, Hanji stood behind him with her arms folded over her chest. “What’s going on here?” She questioned, eyeing her daughter suspiciously.

  
“Your brat stole my keys.” Levi explained simply which made Madeleine gasp with wide eyes.

  
“Maddie!” Hanji scolded, walking over to pinch her daughter’s ear. The girl huffed and quickly whipped her head over to Levi, “You said you wouldn’t tell her! You lied!”

  
“Levi!” Hanji scolded again and used her other hand to pinch Levi’s ear as well. The raven looked up unamusedly and swatted Hanji’s hand away. “It’s the third time this week. I don’t know what’s wrong with your brat, and I really don’t care either. Teach her discipline or I’ll have to do it.” With a short wave, Levi began walking back to his house and shut the door.

  
Once Hanji was sure Levi was out of sight, she turned over to Madeleine and stared down at her. Her frown was deep, boring mercilessly into the little girl. “How many times do I have to tell you...” Madeleine watched as her mother slowly raised her hand and swallowed lightly.

  
“...That you can’t let him catch you! You have to put the key back and get out faster the next time!” Hanji laughed as Maddie let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding and reached up to give her mother a high five.

  
“You scared me, mom!” The brunette giggled, “For a moment, I really thought you were mad!” She stepped closer to pull her mother into a hug which Hanji gladly returned. She stroked Madeleine’s hair tenderly and pressed a kiss on her head. “I couldn’t be mad at you, even if I wanted to.” Hanji murmured softly.

  
Madeleine was her only daughter and already thirteen years old. Time flew by really fast. Hanji remembered holding her baby, feeding her, bathing her, changing her diaper. Now she was already so big, she loved watching her daughter grow with each day. From the looks, Madeleine doubtlessly came after her father: neat hair, brown eyes, and a rather lengthy face but it suited the girl perfectly. She was cute and definitely had charm if she wanted to.

  
Even if she rather acted like a boy most of the time. Though, Hanji never minded it since she was the same- she let Madeleine be whoever she wanted to be and act the way she felt comfortable with. Of course, there were things she had to learn like how to act when she’d ever get in danger or how she always had to be attentive of her surroundings. To always be on guard even in such a young age. The world was a very dangerous place and safety was a very rare thing nowadays. To survive, people had to act sometimes, and Hanji was making sure the girl knew it all.

  
Madeleine broke the hug at some point and looked up at her mother with a grin. “I’ve got what you asked for, by the way.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out something small that was wrapped up in foil. When she opened it and Hanji saw what it was, she raised her brows, “Wow. You really found some. I knew Shorty was hiding things in there!”

  
The girl chuckled and handed the chocolate to her mother. “Anyway, I gotta go back to the others. See ya later, mom!” Kissing her cheek quickly, Maddie hurried off to go and find her friends while Hanji shook her head lightly and took a bite of the chocolate.

  
She hummed quietly to herself while walking around but soon stopped when someone put their hands over her eyes. It didn’t take long for her to know who it was, so she quickly turned around and wrapped her arms around the taller male. “Morning, babe.” She greeted, leaving a kiss on his jaw.

  
“Morning.” He murmured, reaching up to ruffle her hair. The male smelled something coming from Hanji’s mouth and leaned closer to smell it better. “Is that... chocolate?” He asked hopefully.

  
The brunette nodded eagerly and held up the small piece that was left in her hand. “Uh huh! We can share, if you want.” She placed the chocolate between her lips and tiptoed so she could reach him better. The brunet leaned closer as he placed his hands on Hanji’s waist and took the other end of the chocolate. Once they met in the middle, he gave her a long, passionate kiss on her lips.

  
Things weren’t always like that between them, Hanji and Eren really went through a lot until they reached where they were today. They’ve all been thought a hard time, especially because of what happened about nine years ago. Eren messed up things greatly but they’ve managed to suit it all out and, by now, everyone forgave him for what he did- some took longer than others, but it was alright now. They’ve lost people thanks to his actions, important people, yet they couldn’t change it anymore and Hanji could see how much he regretted it and how hard he was working on making up for it. She didn’t put any blame on him.

  
“What’s Maddie up to?” Eren asked, his arm hanging over her shoulders as he walked by her side.

  
“Playing with the gang, the usual.” She hummed, leaning her head against his shoulder. “What about Ethan? Did you already get him to the play group?”

  
“Yeah,” Eren nodded, “I think he likes it there. Mikasa is taking over the group today with Horseface. She’s doing it great and, if you ask me, she’s having fun there too. It’s a nice change from fighting.”

  
Hanji nodded in agreement before stretching her arms over her head, her bones cracking, and exhaling softly. “I gotta have to take care of a few things. See you at lunch?”

  
“Of course. See you later, old lady.” The brunet teased, pecking her lips with a laugh. “Watch who you’re calling old! I could strangle you in your sleep any time.” She winked playfully and let out a laugh as well while turning right and walking while Eren continued his way straight on.

  
Hanji walked for a while until she reached the very end of the town where the fallen ones were buried. She headed over to the right, the second one in the third row; that was where she always stopped. The brunette slowly sank to the ground and very lightly touched the earth on the grave.

  
“...Hey. It’s me again.” Her voice was barely a whisper, her hand trembling slightly. “I just came to say thank you... Maddie’s birthday is tomorrow and without you back then... she wouldn’t be the cheerful, little girl she is today.”

  
It was hard to keep herself under control but since she was alone, she let her tears drip down her face silently. They soaked the earth underneath her. “Thank you for helping me, and thank you for getting me here. I owe you so much b-but I can’t repay you anymore... I’d give anything just to get one more chance to see you... A-anything...”

  
Her lower lip trembled. Nine years, and she still couldn’t control herself. Every time she visited this specific grave, she bursted out in tears. He was the last one who deserved such a terrible death at such a young age. Hanji couldn’t save him back then and she hated herself for it. She came very often to that grave to thank him and apologize for not being able to save him.

  
“I-I’m sorry... I know I promised you I wouldn’t cry anymore.” She let out a sad laugh and rubbed her tears away. “Heh... You know, Maddie would’ve loved you. I’m sure of it. Everyone loves you...” She stated as a fact.  
Hanji took a few deep breaths, trying to get a grip of herself again. “Everyone’s doing well. But I kinda need someone to help me with the machines. I’m trying to get humanity back, working on a way to heal the sick people... But nobody understands how it works or how to make it no matter how many times I explain it to them. To be honest, I don’t even understand it myself. I.. don’t know what to do.. I wish you could be here...”

  
The brunette stared down at the ground for some longer before her eyes filled with tears all over again and she pressed her forehead onto the ground. “I-I miss you so much! I‘m so s-sorry I couldn’t save you back then! It all happened so quickly a-and it was over before I got the chance to do anything.” The guilt was plaguing her for years and was still doing so. She never accepted his death and would never do so either. Next to others, she acted calm and collected, but once she was alone with him, her emotions took over.

  
Sniffling, Hanji continued, “B-but don’t worry, I’ll take him down for you. He will pay with his life for what he did to you.” She lifted her head again and stared at the name engraved in the wood cross. She placed her hand onto her own head and continued, her voice now strong and determined as she said, “I swear it on my own life. I’ll avenge you, Armin.”


End file.
